This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
