I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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