Kiss
Puke
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't put those talents on a resume
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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