good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
