Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
