if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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