I think I died a long time ago.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
