They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
