don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
