I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
