She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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