you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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