they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
