I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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