Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
