mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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