hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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