Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
