I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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