Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
