Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
