Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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