found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
