the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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