Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His hands were made for my vagina.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
