No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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