After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
