You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm always down for nudity.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
