yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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