I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
