Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
