Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
