the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
