ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
