she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
