just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
