Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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