Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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