I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
