What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
3 2 1 whiskey
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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