after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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