i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
