You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
