i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
