There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
