i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
