so explain again why im purple
no
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You ruined the universe
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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