I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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