Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
