was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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