i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
