She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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